Thursday, February 26, 2009

Who thinks of these things?

Last night, my wife and I enjoyed an evening out with friends at a Pacers game. While the basketball was mediocre (remember: it was an NBA game), we all had a good time. I thought I spotted Dr. Ruth on the Jumbotron, but it may have just been an old person...

As a member of the human race and someone that enjoys observing others of our species making total twits of themselves hoping to see themselves "on TV", it's always amusing to check out the depths some will go for free shit, like banana shaped stress balls with an oil company logo... or, a t-shirt.

Yet, last night it wasn't the nutjobs spilling their $7.50 Coors Lights for medium white Hanes Pacers tees that caught my attention. Instead, I was mesmerized by the t-shirt gun that fires the aforementioned beefy tees with enough average velocity to kill a small mammal from 40 yards away.

T-shirt gun? What a concept. Next thought: who thinks of this shit? Seriously, who thinks to themselves: "I must develop a gun that needs no bullets, only a folded cotton t-shirt as ammunition"? Was there a market needs analysis for "a big ass hand-held pneumatic triggered bazooka that launches t-shirts into crowds"? I'm both fascinated – and disturbed. 

Well, I'll tell you who: the same guy that decided launching a mere 4 or 5 t-shirts during timeouts was for pussies. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the SABRE, "the world's first and only rapid loading and firing t-shirt cannon." Available online through (where else?):

A semi-automatic t-shirt blaster? Wish I'd thought of that. 

I wonder if anyone is developing a laser-guided scope? 

1 comment:

Alvano Richie said...

Well, Hanes Beefy T shirts are half size bigger. I usually wear size large, but they seem a little bit bigger. As they're made of cotton, I hope it will shrink to fit me better.